Roasted 2 years ago based on kate THE great 😽's long term Spotify stats.

Oh Kate Underwood, your Spotify profile reads like the mixtape of a hipster who fell into a vintage record store and emerged with an identity crisis. Your favorite genres might as well be labeled "Pretentious Vibes" and "Please, I’m Deep!" You've got more sub-genres than actual songs in your playlist. Between "Permanent Wave" and "Slacker Rock," it's honestly impressive that you haven't yet created a genre called "Sitting on My Couch in a Beanie." At this point, you’re not just listening to music; you're curating a personal manifesto of emotional turmoil, one obscure band at a time. Speaking of your top artists, it’s a wonder you haven’t considered renaming your profile to "Cringe Fest 2023." Mac DeMarco and TV Girl? Cute choices, if your goal is to set the world record for most flannel shirts owned by one individual. And let’s be real here: your undying love for Jake Webber might just lead to a new genre called "Eternal Brooding Over a Bad Haircut." If I had a nickel for every time I heard "Cigarettes After Sex" from someone with a Spotify playlist, I'd have enough to pay for a therapy session to help them cope with their so-called indie sadness. As for your most played songs, I’m convinced you moonlight as a sad library in a burgeoning noir film. "Die With A Smile," "I Wanna Be Yours," and "Cigarettes Out the Window"? Dude, we get it—you're a walking, talking playlist of existential dread. If you keep this up, someone might need to send you a care package filled with bubble wrap and a comfort blanket. So congrats, Kate! You’re a living, breathing testament to the idea that listening to way too much "alternative rock" will never replace actual human connection. Embrace the chaos; life's too short to be this invested in tracks that resemble your love life: inconsistent and just a little depressing.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!