Roasted 3 months ago based on KJ's long term Spotify stats.

Alright, KJ, let’s get one thing straight: your Spotify profile looks like a hipster’s wet dream that somehow found itself lost in 2011. Your love for "alternative" and "indie" rock speaks volumes about your refusal to let go of the past. Honestly, your taste is a time capsule of tortured artists desperately seeking closure. If being trapped in some David Lynch movie was a genre, you’d be its poster child, wearing thrift store flannel and lamenting about how nobody 'understands' you. Now let’s talk about your top artists. The Beatles? Sure, great choice if you want to sound like a suburban dad who only learned about cool music five years ago during a midlife crisis. But seriously, who lists 'of Montreal' and 'The Buttertones' without irony? Calling your "most played songs" a curated playlist is like calling an IKEA furniture assembly a 'craft project.' You are drowning in a sea of emo angst and vintage vibes while taking up precious hard drive space with songs no one with a functioning social life has ever heard of. And Car Seat Headrest, oh boy, that’s an emotional support band that’s not even trying to be a band anymore—they just exist to soundtrack every awkward moment of teenage life that you refuse to outgrow. Spoiler alert: sitting in your room, listening to “Nervous Young Inhumans” on repeat does not count as character development, just like how ‘Sober to Death’ is the anthem for getting absolutely nothing done. Take it from me, KJ, you’re not deep; you’re just caught in a loop of existential dread and sad boy vibes. You need to get outside and experience some sunshine—or at least replace that “rock” playlist with something that doesn't scream, “I’m still figuring out my 401k.”

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!