Roasted 11 months ago based on Philippe's long term Spotify stats.

Philippe, your Spotify profile reads like a teenage emo diary that accidentally fell into a blender set on “extra cringe.” Seriously, I’ve seen less identity confusion in a toddler’s crayon drawing. What's next? A playlist titled “My Existence is a Meme”? Your taste in music is like your personality: a chaotic mashup of obscure genres that sounds like a middle school art project titled “I’m trying to be edgy.” Hyperpop followed by Symphonic Metal? You’re channeling every phase of a 2006 MySpace user who couldn’t quite figure out if they were a sad punk or a hyperactive glitter fairy. And those top artists? It's like you raided a dumpster behind a Hot Topic and put together a playlist for misunderstood souls. Pansy Division? I’m surprised to learn that’s a band and not a support group. Labels like "$WAGGOT" and "hxnterbtw" are practically begging for a well-deserved cease-and-desist—a hipster musical “survivor’s guilt” compilation album, if I’ve ever seen one. You might as well change your Spotify bio to “certified Stonewall graduate, here to save you from basic pop songs” with an obligatory emoji. Newsflash, buddy: just because you deconstruct your identity through existential angst doesn't mean you have good taste. Your top songs? Quite the parade of melodrama! “Pretty and Depressed”—sounds like you wrote that title while contemplating your life choices over a bowl of cold ramen. And don’t get me started on “I’m Totally Obsessed With Him.” Mate, if you put half the energy you spend on this playlist into actual relationships, maybe you wouldn't need to find solace in lyrics that sound like they were written during a particularly dark episode of your favorite anime. By the end of your listening session, even the algorithms are left wondering if they should recommend therapy instead of more “puke my gutzz O_o.” Here’s a suggestion: maybe take a break from the digital angst and spend some time outdoors. You know, where the sunlight can reach you—and your music taste… eventually!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!