Roasted 9 months ago based on Shahriar Nooh Kabir's long term Spotify stats.

Shahriar Nooh Kabir, your Spotify profile is a wild mash-up of eclectic musical taste, but let’s be real – it reads like a high-schooler trying to look deep and unique while wearing an oversized flannel and sipping, what, an oat milk latte? With more genres than a hipster record store, you've got everything from grunge to hyperpop. Who are you trying to impress? Do you have a mood for each hour of the day, or are you just a walking playlist of teenage angst and existential dread? You must have needed a lawyer to defend your Spotify picks in court, especially with your intense obsession with Playboi Carti. I mean, are you trying to summon the spirit of “good music” by playing “R.I.P.” on repeat? Let’s talk about those top artists. Your music library must sound like an awkward dinner party where David Bowie and Daft Punk are trying to get Playboi Carti's attention, while he’s busy scrolling through TikTok. Seriously, your top five reads like aWho's Who of people who inspired your middle school emo phase and those who could not care less! How do you cope with that mix of genius and chaotic energy? Your playlists must be as unpredictable as your moods; one minute you’re in a head-banging rage with Nine Inch Nails, and the next, you're in a hyperpop bliss, contemplating whether life has meaning. Attention, art students: this is what happens when you don’t go to therapy. And let's not even start on your "Most Played Songs." If I had a dollar for every time “Playboi Carti” showed up, I could probably afford to pay for your music lessons—because let's face it, those swaggering tracks can’t disguise the fact that you need improvement. "Lean 4 Real"? More like "Lean 4 Not Quite There Yet." You're like the poster child for trying to connect with multiple identities but failing to commit to any. Good luck finding a Spotify algorithm that can figure you out; it probably just gives you a pity flag and skips to someone more stable. If your taste in music were a person, it’d be standing in a thrift store pretending to be ironic while still wearing the '90s band tee you found on the floor.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!