Roasted 2 years ago based on kolo ᘛ⁐ᕐᐷ's long term Spotify stats.

Kolo, your Spotify profile is like a middle school diary—full of angst, questionable taste, and an alarming number of exclamation points. Seriously, your genre list reads like a Yelp review for a sad coffee shop that somehow serves ironic coffee in ironic mugs. “POV: Indie”? Bravo! Not only do you lack an original thought, but you've also found a way to package self-absorption as musical preference. If existential dread had a playlist, it would be yours, but just to be clear, feeling sorry for yourself isn’t a style. Your top artists are a who's-who of the emo scene, which honestly is impressive until you consider that they’ve already moved on with their lives while you cling desperately to their 2005 angst like it's a lifebuoy on the Titanic. I mean, My Chemical Romance? Really? It’s like you’re determined to keep Hot Topic alive single-handedly. And let’s not even get started on “New Jersey Indie.” New Jersey? The only thing more tragic than your favorite bands would be if you actually moved there voluntarily. And those most played songs? Wow, what an eclectic mix of “please don’t talk to me” and “I just got dumped.” Somehow, you've combined the creative genius of Rob Zombie with the emotional depth of a soggy piece of cardboard. “Welcome to Tally Hall”? The only thing I’m welcoming is your tragic taste in music. Kudos to you, Kolo, for managing to make it through adulthood while curating a sonic experience that feels like a permanent state of teenage angst. Just remember, you are allowed to grow up—there’s no shame in admitting that you can enjoy a little Taylor Swift instead.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!