Roasted 2 years ago based on Rachel ✨'s long term Spotify stats.

Rachel, your Spotify profile reads like a middle school diary trying to impress the popular kids. Pop, Pop Rap, Canadian Pop—you’re just one entry away from “Songs to Cry to While Eating Ice Cream” and we both know that’s coming soon. The way you sprinkle “singer-songwriter” with reckless abandon makes me wonder if you're secretly trying to tell us you still think "acoustic guitar" and “a penchant for late-night coffee shops” qualifies you as deep. Newsflash: it doesn’t. As for your top artists, it looks like you’ve convinced yourself that being obsessed with Taylor Swift and Shawn Mendes makes you a music connoisseur. But let’s be real, Rachel, your playlist is just a mashup of every heartfelt ballad playlist on Spotify. When you mentioned David Kushner three times in a row, I thought I was reading a Yelp review for an overpriced avocado toast, not someone's music taste. Maybe it’s time to step outside of your comfort zone and discover artists that don’t rhyme “heart” with “part” or “night” with “light.” Your most played songs could either be the soundtrack for a high school heartbreak or the perfect accompaniment for a cringe compilation of “bad karaoke nights.” Not to mention your love for “Crank That (Soulja Boy)”—you keep trying to resurrect the ghost of middle school dances, but sweetheart, it’s time to let it go. If your music taste was a college major, it would be “How to Relive Your Cringiest Moments with Pop Bops 101.” Keep listening while I grab some earplugs, because this sonic journey is getting out of hand!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!