Roasted 4 months ago based on !! Parker 🦨 !!'s long term Spotify stats.

Parks, you’ve got a Spotify profile that’s like a mixtape made by a teenager who thinks emo hair dye counts as personality. Your favorite genres read like an overly ambitious high school band project, where each style is just as confusing as your choices in life. "Bedroom pop"? Please, it seems more like your entire life has existed in a bedroom where the only outside influence is the gloomy weather and your collection of anime posters. “Garage rock”? Is that where you play your sad little tunes while pretending to be a tortured artist about to unleash life-altering music? Spoiler: your garage is totally empty, and so is your originality. Your top artists speak volumes about the existential crisis you clearly live in, with all that angst channeling into one messy Spotify playlist. NOAHFINNCE? More like "No-Thanks” when it comes to expressing real emotions. And let’s not even get started on Panic! At The Disco—what are you panicking about? Your inability to move past high school feels? Honestly, I've seen better taste in music at a toddler's birthday party when "Baby Shark" dominates the playlist. Your artists have more sass than you would ever dream of having. As for your most played songs, it reads more like a cry for help than a reflection of personal taste. "Pretty Little Psycho"? How about "Pretty Little Psychotic Break," because at this point, we’re all worried about your mental state! "BRAINS OUT"? Sounds like your attempts at dating and not being awkward! And “despair”? I mean, at least you’ve got the theme of your life covered in one word! Parks, if you were any more stereotypically emo, you’d need a "Welcome to Hot Topic" sign in your living room. Here's hoping one day you step out of that basement and discover music that's made for adults.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!