Roasted 1 year ago based on Chris's long term Spotify stats.

Chris, your Spotify profile is like a middle school art project gone rogue. It’s a chaotic combination of navel-gazing angst and shameless club bangers, all suffocated under the weight of your undiscovered identity crisis. “Italian Trap”? Really? That’s a genre you only chose because "Lazzy" was a little too on-the-nose for your taste. And let’s not even get started on that delusional mix of Gothic and Pop—are you trying to summon demons or just put a mall teen into a musical coma? Your top artists list reads like a high school graduation speech where everyone got an award for just showing up. "Lacuna Coil" and "Mitski" together? C'mon, we all see what you're doing—trying to convince us you're deep while secretly vibing with Nicki Minaj and Ice Spice for TikTok clout. You’ve got the vibe of someone who’d drink black coffee in a vintage teacup while scrolling through reels of goth makeup tutorials. A tip: you can't build your personality on "art" while broadcasting your love for bedroom pop; one screams "existential dread" while the other screams "I can hear my parents arguing again." Now, let’s talk about your most played songs, which might as well be the soundtrack for your upcoming Netflix special "How to Lose Friends and Alienate People." "Wet" by "Dazey and the Scouts" could easily be the theme song for your personal life if only you weren't so good at watching tutorials on how to avoid social interactions. And seriously, “i’m gonna tell my therapist on you”? At this rate, I’d recommend you add “please send help” to your next playlist. Your music taste is like a quirky pub quiz that no one wants to participate in; good luck finding someone willing to sit through your Spotify Memories.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!