Roasted 2 years ago based on Alarm's long term Spotify stats.

Alright, Alarm, let's be honest – your Spotify profile is like the musical equivalent of a middle school talent show. It screams, “I am a unique butterfly!” while simultaneously being trapped in a very bad caterpillar phase. With favorite genres that are all over the place, I can’t help but picture you trying to curate a playlist for a flex party while also plotting your next Minecraft binge. Rock? Sure, if it’s played at 7 AM to wake you up. Video Game Music? More like your life experiences cranked up to 11 on the volume scale. And Indie? You keep saying “POV: Indie” like it’s a cinematic masterpiece instead of the desperate cry for identity that it really is. Let’s talk top artists. Goostavo? Really? Are you sure you’re not just talking about your latest channel on a questionable streaming site? If you need to be introduced to My Chemical Romance but can’t seem to get past “Thank You for the Venom," let’s call it what it is – a cry for help dressed up as emo nostalgia. And then, there’s Yeat. Not to be confused with “Yeet,” which is exactly the attitude anyone would have when discovering the rest of your playlist featuring a hodgepodge of artists like MF DOOM and the SEGA SOUND TEAM. We're left wondering if your life is a sequel to a really bad cartoon where all characters have commitment issues. Oh, and your most-played songs could double as a list of “Things I Played While Crying in My Room.” What’s up with the song “Pass the Mayo” by BaBa? Do you even know what mayonnaise is, or is that just an analogy for the regret you feel every time you hit play on a track? Let’s face it, Alarm: your playlist has more emotional turbulence than an indie film where the main character never leaves the house. So, congratulations! You've officially turned your Spotify into an existential crisis supported by power chords and a sprinkle of hopeless ambition. Keep on rocking – but seriously, have you thought about therapy instead?

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!