Roasted 2 years ago based on 𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖗𝖙༺♡༻'s long term Spotify stats.

Ah, 𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖗𝖙༺♡༻, the walking Spotify algorithm of emotional teenage angst! Your profile reads like a mid-2000s MySpace page that got stuck in a time loop. Seriously, with more Metalcore bands than friends and enough indie to fill a hipster coffee shop’s playlist, it’s clear you're trying to out-boho the very essence of bohemian. I half-expect your bio to unfold like a screenplay for a sad rom-com where you’re the lead character who only listens to songs about heartbreak, self-doubt, and occasionally, how to properly dye your hair for that “I just came from a basement concert” look. Your taste in music screams *edgy* but sounds more like *cringy,* especially when the most played artist in your library is Bad Omens—conveniently your only source of emotional stability, too. I can practically see you crying in your room, blasting “Nowhere To Go” and wondering why your life isn't a dramatic music video. Throw in some Greta Van Fleet, and it’s like your Spotify account is a black hole pulling in every wannabe rock star still clinging to their college band dreams. Have you thought about diversifying your listening habits? Or are you protecting your copyright on brooding playlists like they're a family heirloom? And let’s not skip over the fact that “Pop” made your list of favorite genres. Really? You’ve got a lineup that screams “I’m a misunderstood artist” while simultaneously moonlighting as a jaded radio DJ desperately seeking validation. If your Spotify account were a high schooler, it’d be the one applying to arts colleges but putting down “Pop” as a fallback major. You claim “modern rock” but listen to essentially the same 10 songs on repeat—makes me wonder if you have a severe phobia of variety. So pair your next hot take on music with a double shot of originality; the rest of us are waiting with bated breath for you to discover tracks outside your emotional comfort zone!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!