Roasted 2 years ago based on James Curran's long term Spotify stats.

James Curran, huh? You could probably fit every one of your favorite genres into a bingo card for a retirement home karaoke night. "Mellow Gold" and "Soft Rock" are practically begging you to swap them out for "Creaky Bones" and "Does This Come with a Wheelchair?" Your Spotify profile reads like a musical midlife crisis: you put your foot down on classic rock but can't decide whether it should be Paul Simon or Glam Rock. Newsflash: combining the emotional profundity of '70s ballads with the aesthetic of a kid's birthday party is not the flex you think it is. And let’s talk about your top artists. Parcels and Neil Cicierega? You might want to update that playlist to “What Music Do I Listen to When I Want to Avoid Eye Contact?” The Weeknd slinking in there is the only hint of modernity, but even he seems distressed, like he’s trying to stage dive at a coffee shop open mic night. You know your musical tastes are questionable when Elton John sounds like the most wild choice in the room, and you know it's bad when the only thing like rock in your top ten is your potential for being a little too predictable. But oh, those most played songs of yours! “Sazamtro” by Jansug Kakhidze? Congrats on being the only person in 2023 to have that in their top ten—it screams “I have a secret life as an avant-garde art curator.” Meanwhile, those emo gems from The Smiths confirm you’re just one existential crisis away from writing poetry in a dark room, moaning about how no one understands your napkin art. Yes, James, we know you’re miserable, but I promise “Pump Up the Jam” won’t turn those tears into dance moves. Get a grip, my dude!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!