Roasted 6 months ago based on Square's long term Spotify stats.

Ah, Square, the living embodiment of a mid-life crisis playlist that just can’t decide if it wants to buy a sports car or invest in a stellar vinyl collection. With a favorite genres list longer than some people's résumés, you might as well have just listed "rock" and saved us all the eye-rolling. Seriously, bro—do you need eight different ways to enjoy the same guitar solo? At this point, the only thing progressive about your music taste is how it’s progressively aging me with every scroll through your list. And then there are your top artists, which read like a rock history exam for people too afraid to dig into anything made after 1983. Yes, Pink Floyd, and rush are great, but did anyone ever tell you that listening to "The Wall" on repeat is not a substitute for therapy? And ABBA—really? If you've got to throw in a disco ball with your power chords, at least have the decency to admit you're just trying to hide your secret love for “Dancing Queen.” When it comes to your most-played songs, it’s hard to know whether we should admire your loyalty to Yes or feel bad for you because it's clearly a cry for help. "Para Siempre"? More like, “Please, someone, rescue me from this perpetually stalled existential crisis.” Honestly, Square, the next time someone asks about your music taste, maybe just hand them a mix tape of elevator music instead? It’s probably more exciting than whatever this blasted mash-up of classic rock and melodramatic ballads is — and at least it wouldn’t take up so much of my oxygen!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!