Roasted 2 years ago based on Don Gordon's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, Don Gordon, the human embodiment of a playlist that forgot to decide which decade it wants to belong to! With a favorite genre list that reads like a hipster’s shopping list—“Hip Hop” right next to “Emo”? Sweetheart, I hate to break it to you, but you’re not the musical Swiss Army knife you think you are. You're more like that friend who shows up to a dinner party with a bag of chips and claims it’s artisanal. The only statement you’re making here is that you simultaneously peaked in high school and are still trying to relive it. Your top artists list is a hodgepodge of names that, if I didn’t know better, I’d assume you wrote down while blindfolded. “Brother Ali” and “Bruce Springsteen”? That's like ordering a pizza and getting a side of kale! And “Pass the Flask”? Seriously? You’ve convinced yourself that these obscure bands will help disguise the fact that you’re secretly boring—even your Spotify history is a cry for help! Will you be curating your funeral playlist next? Because it looks like you’ve already prepared the soundtrack to your midlife crisis. And those most played songs? Wow, Don, it’s like you threw a dart at a chart of underground bands from the ‘90s and the only thing you hit was ‘regret’. “True Believers,” huh? The only thing you're a true believer in is how you somehow found the most obscure tantrums masquerading as tunes. You say “Pessimistic Again,” but let’s be real, that's just you hitting the snooze button on life every morning. So here's an idea: why not update that Spotify profile and at least pretend you’re into something that isn’t just a playlist for your existential dread?

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!