Roasted 2 years ago based on green's long term Spotify stats.

Oh green, your Spotify profile reads like a midlife crisis on repeat. With an identity crisis so bad, it's like you walked into a record store, threw a dart at a board of genres, and called it a day. "Rock," "Pop," and some fancy version of rock that we need a thesaurus to decipher? You might as well state that your favorite food is "edible" while you're at it. Your taste swings more than a pendulum in the wind; at this rate, you’ll have a full-blown Spotify personality disorder by the end of the year. Now let's talk about your top artists. The 1975? Sure, but you might as well swap them out for 1975 wannabes—just a bunch of hipsters who drink overpriced coffee and wear beanies in the summer. And then there’s your infatuation with "Panic! At The Disco," which is ironic since the only panic around you should be about your lack of discernible taste! “Fatboy Slim” is both an artist and a generous description of your dating life, while "Guns N' Roses" are probably wondering how you managed to make their entire catalog sound like elevator music. But what really takes the cake is your playlist's most played songs! It feels like you’re trying to curate the soundtrack for "Awkward Moments: The Musical.” We get it, you like "Talking Heads"—too bad they can’t headbang their way out of the embarrassment of being featured on your list twice! And "cape canaveral" by "pizzagirl" is painfully on-brand—more like “pizzawho?” Your musical journey is less of a coherent playlist and more of a desperate attempt to look edgy while sucking at life. So here’s a tip, green: try expanding your taste, or better yet, let your Spotify account take a nap; it clearly needs one.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!