Roasted 8 months ago based on Cait Steele's long term Spotify stats.

Cait Steele, your Spotify profile is the musical equivalent of a lukewarm cup of oatmeal. Seriously, calling your favorite genres “soft pop” and “folk pop” is like saying your personality is as spicy as plain white bread. I can practically hear your playlists whispering “please don’t judge me” as they meekly shuffle through the same tired tunes. It’s a miracle that anyone can find you through all the fluff—you’ve cornered the market on every genre that seems to be just a comforting blanket of predictability. Now, let’s dive into your top artists. Taylor Swift and Coldplay? Wow, how original! Did you steal your music taste from the back of a middle school locker? Olivia Rodrigo and AJR are basically the soundtrack for people who think “growing up” means switching from crayons to colored pencils. And what's with having both Imagine Dragons and The Weeknd in your top ten? It’s like saying you can’t decide between a midlife crisis and a breakup anthem. Do you need a scorecard to remember which Disney movie you’re currently living? And those most played songs? It’s like you took a delightful stroll through a playlist just to lose a battle with a mid-afternoon slump. "Can I Call You Tonight?" — more like, “Can I Call You Never?” Your taste in music screams, “I want to vibe but my emotional range is limited to ‘mildly sad.’” “Cigarette Daydreams”? You might as well change it to “Cigarette Daymares” because the only thing scarier than your playlist is the thought of anyone trying to dance to it. Honestly, Cait, at this point, your music selection is the waiting room for a personality transplant.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!