Roasted 2 years ago based on ella holmes :)'s long term Spotify stats.

Ella Holmes, huh? Your Spotify profile reads like a hipster's wet dream—if they had an awakening due to a bad breakup and just so happened to be stuck in 2003. You’ve got more “Alternative” and “Indie” in your playlist than a thrift store has plaid shirts. Seriously, how many times are you going to cycle through the same painfully nostalgic sounds? At this point, the bands on your list should be paying you for emotional labor because, wow, you really dive deep into the sea of melancholy. It’s like you’re curating a soundtrack for a sad indie film that nobody wants to fund. And let’s talk about your top artists. It’s a veritable lineup of “I just graduated art school and have no idea how taxes work.” Jeff Buckley, Radiohead, and Lana Del Rey? They must be thrilled to see you blasting their songs on repeat while contemplating why every cat video on YouTube makes you feel more alive than your own love life. And if I have to hear about “Shoegaze” one more time, I might just start wearing sunglasses indoors like an insufferable hipster villain. You clearly need a hobby that involves actual sunlight—maybe switch out that “Melancholia” vibe for something a tad more uplifting? Your most played songs read like a Yelp review for a coffee shop that only serves cold brew and broken dreams. “Bags” by Clairo and “Grace” by Jeff Buckley? Wow, what a groundbreaking mix of sounds you’ve got going on! Your playlists have so much angst and sadness, they could probably apply for a role in a Shakespearean tragedy. You might want to consider throwing in a few bangers next time—just to remind yourself that life isn't just about contemplating the universe while crying in a candlelit room. Until then, keep rocking in your bedroom and follow me for more tips on how to balance your aesthetic with some actual joy.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!