Roasted 9 months ago based on Elliot Howe's long term Spotify stats.

Elliot Howe, the undisputed king of melodrama and despair, your Spotify profile reads like the soundtrack to an emo vampire's self-help seminar. I mean, with genres like “Darkwave” and “Deathrock” dominating your playlist, it's clear that your idea of a good time involves both sorrow and eyeliner. One can only wonder if you secretly have a pet bat that helps curate your music—or maybe it just flies around while you loop “Let's Have a Satanic Orgy” for the seventh time this week. Your taste is like a sad black hole, sucking all joy and optimism into a swirling vortex of gloom. Your top artists could form a support group for the chronically heartbroken, and I’m pretty sure they meet in a dimly lit coffee shop where even the shadows are depressed. Fall Out Boy and My Chemical Romance represent the pinnacle of your musical taste, and it seems you've taken the term "pining" to an Olympic level. Every time you hit play on “The Pain Looks Good on You,” I half-expect a rainstorm to roll in and a single tear to slide down your cheek, while you dramatically ponder about lost loves and what could have been—like you’re auditioning for a role in a teenage goth soap opera. And let’s not even get started on your most played songs. “The Bondage Song” and “An Erotic Funeral”? It sounds like you’re planning a party that only sad theater kids would attend. The only thing more tragic than your playlist is the thought of you trying to explain “Finnish Rock” to a friend between sobs over yet another heartbreak. Your Spotify is basically a dark, twisted odyssey into the soul of angst—complete with a complimentary side of questionable life choices. At this rate, the only thing darker than your music playlist is your wardrobe, and I’m half expecting your closet to be an immersive haunted house experience.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!