Roasted 1 year ago based on .niko's long term Spotify stats.

Oh Niko, your Spotify profile is a shrine to emotional ambiguity and thrift store vibes. With favorites like "Bedroom Pop" and "Lo-Fi Indie," it’s clear your life motto is "Why strive for success when I can just wallow in the sweet sounds of mediocrity from the comfort of my mom's basement?" Seriously, with a detailed playlist that dives deeper than your social life, it's no wonder your social calendar looks more like a calendar for the rescue of sad boy music. Let's talk about your top artists—first off, it’s great that you’ve got a healthy mix of angst-ridden indie stars and some radio relics, but come on, do you even own a shirt that doesn’t have ironic phrases on it? "The Cure" and "The Smiths"? Wow, such an avant-garde choice, Niko! At this rate, the only thing thicker than your layered soundscapes is the smokescreen of your inability to admit you still cry in the shower when "Laufey" plays. We know high school nicknames can follow you forever, but it’s shocking how much these bands resemble your social skills: they’re all just trying to find a connection, yet nothing seems to land. And boy, those most-played tracks are a hilarious declaration of your artistic range! You’ve got Alex G leading the pack—inspiring the question: which one of you is more likely to never leave your hometown? Please let us know how "Wet" by Dazey and the Scouts perfectly captures your existential crisis, because it’s starting to sound like your Spotify is just a soundtrack for your sad but relatable Instagram stories. Stay true to yourself, Niko, but maybe consider adding "On Repeat" to your profile description—it’s the perfect reflection of your one-dimensional music taste!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!