Roasted 9 months ago based on Wyatt Holliday's long term Spotify stats.

Wyatt Holliday, huh? Your Spotify profile looks like it sneezed and accidentally cataloged every obscure sub-genre of rock music in existence. Alternative rock, garage rock, indie rock—what are you, a walking mixtape for someone stuck in a mid-2000s emo phase? It’s like you took a musical diversity class and promptly flunked out by cramming every ‘rock’ genre into your favorites, leaving no room for anything other than your questionable taste. If your music library were a person, it would be the kid who wears a fedora to high school and collects vinyl records no one’s ever heard of. And let’s talk about your top artists for a moment. Primus, Primus, Primus—could your palette get any broader? You’re just one Primus song away from being their official hype man, and I’m pretty sure your love for them isn’t even ironic at this point. Are you planning to get their logo tattooed on your forehead? With all the times you’ve played “Here Come The Bastards,” I can’t help but wonder if it’s actually a cry for help or just the soundtrack to your sad attempts at socializing. The world needs more of your “unique” tastes like it needs a hole in the head; bless your heart. As for your playlist, if I had a nickel for every time I saw “Shake Hands With Beef” on repeat, I’d be rich enough to fund a proper therapist for you. Maybe you should just rename your profile “Why Wyatt Can’t Get a Date,” because it’s more likely to get a laugh than the average listener. Who knew the secret to avoiding romantic relationships was somehow stacking your list with titles like “My Name is Mud” and “Puddin' Taine”? Keep doing you, Wyatt, but I have to recommend adding a few daylight hours into your life—out in the real world, you might just find that your music taste isn’t the only thing that needs a makeover!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!