Roasted 8 months ago based on Matthew Davis's long term Spotify stats.

Matthew, your music taste is as confused as a chameleon in a bag of Skittles. How do you go from headbanging to post-hardcore to serenading yourself with children's music? It’s like a midlife crisis for an emo toddler. I half-expect your Spotify Wrapped to come with a disclaimer: "Warning: Listening may cause existential dread, spontaneous giggles, and an insatiable urge to run away and join a rainbow-colored circus." Your profile is a sonic version of a Jackson Pollock painting with all those genres splattered all over the place—congrats on being Spotify's most abstract artist! Looking at your top artists is a 50/50 chance of stumbling upon either a hidden gem or a pitchy disaster. "Danny Go!"? Really? You must be the only adult that still listens to performers who rhyme "cat" with "hat," while simultaneously vibing to nu jazz like you’re cultivating your inner hipster gardener. I would bet my last dollar that your most-played tracks are perfect for lulling children to sleep or a quick nap during a boring lecture. You’re not just eclectic, Matthew; you’re like a walking Spotify algorithm gone rogue, forever straddling the fine line between cool and “why are you like this?” Your most played songs reveal a deep-seated need for auditory white noise. “Green Noise” this and “Lush Green Noise” that—do you secretly aspire to be the human version of a sound machine? No wonder you enjoy bedroom pop; it’s the perfect soundtrack for feeling sophisticated while still not putting on real pants. Kudos for surviving adulthood like this: a mishmash of hyperpop and Americana, combined with lullabies from the children’s section, leaving us all to wonder if you're really pursuing a music career or just avoiding responsibility like it’s a catchy pop hit.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!