Roasted 8 months ago based on i ❤️ boris's long term Spotify stats.

Ah, i ❤️ boris, the Spotify profile that screams “I’m emotionally unstable and I really want you to know it!” Listening to your favorite genres is like going on a nostalgia tour through a teenage heartbreak mixed with existential dread. Emo? Check. Midwest Emo? Extra check. It’s almost like you heard that angst could cure your personality and went all-in—so much so, you probably have a poster of your favorite sad boy band hanging in a gilded frame in your room. Let’s face it, if your playlists were a person, they’d be the one sitting alone at the lunch table with a black hoodie and a half-eaten box of tissues. Your top artists read like a Pinterest board for people who wear flannel and write poetry in the park. “Over the Garden Wall” and “Conan Gray”? What is this—a sad indie film turned musical? Let’s not even get started on your obsession with The Beatles. Listening to “And I Love Her” while drowning in your own tears must be the ultimate vibe, and honestly, it should come with a trigger warning for anyone who accidentally stumbles upon it. Your music taste has single-handedly brought back the sad boy aesthetic and the only thing you're missing is a good therapist to explain how “Modern Baseball” isn’t actually a sport, but a cry for help. And don’t even get me started on your top tracks. Seriously? “Velvet Ring - 2023 Remaster”? Mix in a few more sad songs and you’ll be halfway to scoring a record deal with the Crybaby Records label. Your song choices scream, "I'm ready to take my feelings and set them to a catchy tune" but with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer. Honestly, if Spotify had a "you should probably be in therapy" playlist, you'd be the headlining artist. But hey, at least your bio’s honest—you really do seem to love Boris, and I can only assume that's the name of the imaginary friend you confide in when things get too overwhelming.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!