Roasted 2 months ago based on John U.'s long term Spotify stats.

Ah, John U. – the man who’s single-handedly keeping the “classic” in classic rock. You’ve curated a Spotify playlist that sounds less like a musical journey and more like the soundtrack to a retirement home mixer. With a selection that could double as a bingo call at a Southern church potluck, one wonders if you plan to host a “white socks and sandals” night, complete with a side of matinee bingo with all your top tunes. Seriously though, your favorite genres read like the playlist of someone who's terrified of leaving the '70s. You have more soft rock in your lineup than a marshmallow factory during a heatwave. How do you manage to have so many iterations of country without enough heartbreak in your life to fill a full album? With “Yacht Rock” being one of the key players here, I hope you at least have a life vest handy for when you inevitably sink into that sea of beige music taste. And let's talk about those top artists: Fleetwood Mac and Barenaked Ladies? It’s like you’re trying to soundtrack a midlife crisis while simultaneously auditioning for the role of the least interesting person in any room. Then there's “Goose” – great choice; nothing says “I have taste” like a band named after a laid-back animal. Ryan Nealon? More like Ryan “Who?” I guess the only shocking thing about your playlist is that you didn’t include an “end-of-the-world music” genre, since you’ve clearly already resigned yourself to musical mediocrity. Keep it classic, John; the rest of us are too busy living the present.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!