Roasted 9 months ago based on Sploinky's long term Spotify stats.

Sploinker, huh? With a name like that, I half expect your Spotify profile to be a hidden treasure trove of cringey karaoke versions of songs you one day hope to sing at an elementary school talent show. Your favorite genres read like a desperate attempt to find the most random mashup to remind everyone that you’re the living embodiment of what happens when someone gives a toddler an unlimited budget for music. "Country Hip Hop"? Really? If you mix horse saddles with hip-hop bling, you’re not creating a trend; you’re making sure nobody wants to sit next to you at parties! Let's not even get started on your "Top Artists." Bruno Mars and Shawn Mendes? It seems like you’re stuck in a never-ending battle between the mainstream teenybopper brigade and some vague attempt at emotional indie cred. And “Japanese VGM” can only mean one thing: either you’re super nostalgic about your childhood or you've got an unhealthy obsession with 8-bit sounds while waiting for a Pokémon game to drop. If "Super Piano 64" is your go-to artist, I fear for the state of your local music scene. How do you even explain that at family dinners without someone thinking you lost a bet? Your most played songs scream "I’ve never fully processed my emotions!" You’ve got "Minecraft" at the top—what are you trying to convey, that you prefer blocky adventures over real-life connections? And the endless loop of Bruno Mars tracks? You must be one sad mixtape away from giving up and just playing “Hello” on repeat till you make eye contact with someone who cares. At this rate, I’m betting your Spotify Wrapped is just a giant red flag waving desperately at anyone considering you as a friend. Just remember, Sploinker, it's not too late to hit the shuffle button on your taste in music and maybe go for something a little less... “you.”

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!