Roasted 2 years ago based on Jannes Beltman's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, Jannes Beltman, your Spotify profile reads like the ultimate indie rock hipster scavenger hunt—like a treasure map leading straight to the world's most obsolete record store. I mean, you can’t just throw “Britpop Revival” into the mix and think you’re getting a hall pass for your tragic fixation on artists whose fame peaked when flip phones were cool. What’s next? Gathering around a campfire while watching VHS tapes of “The Office” on mute? At the rate you’re going, “Permanent Wave” sounds more like a permanent cringe. And let’s talk about your playlist choices for a second. You’ve got “Soft Kill” and “Gerry Cinnamon” on repeat like they are the last two artists left on the planet, and it’s honestly a bit concerning. It’s as if your music taste was formed during a 2003 emo phase that just refused to die. Your top songs list reads like a sad diary entry set to music. “Joy is a Crime”? Dude, no kidding—your inability to diversify your taste has committed the ultimate crime against auditory pleasure. I’m surprised Spotify isn’t sending you notifications asking if you’re doing okay. But hey, at least you've got “Dutch Rock” on there to keep things interesting, right? You know, just a few more artists and genres in there and you could have a music history lesson that no one asked for! Your playlist is like a stubborn mullet: business in the front, pure midlife crisis in the back. Honestly, if music were a food, your profile would be a microwave burrito—completely unoriginal and fearfully bland. Bravo, Jannes! Keep turning that knob to “disappoint.”

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!