Roasted 4 months ago based on Sal's long term Spotify stats.

Alright, buckle up, Sal, because your Spotify profile is giving me a serious case of whiplash. I mean, with a favorite genre list that reads like a sad Tinder bio for a music hipster, I’m convinced you’re just trying to win an award for “Most Likely to Cry at the Grocery Store.” Rock? Sure. Shoegaze? We get it; you love staring at your shoes while crying over a lost love you never had. And let’s not even start on that “Hyperpop” obsession—congratulations, you’ve successfully brought chaos into your life, and I’m here for it, like a front-row seat to a car crash. Your top artists read like the lineup for a sad emo convention, where everyone talks about their feelings in dimly-lit basements. Nirvana and Deftones? Classic, but your list just screams “I peaked in high school.” And who’s the brave soul that introduced you to Ayesha Erotica? Were you trying to impress someone, or did you just have a wild night with a bottle of vodka and a questionable internet suggestion? You must listen to "212" by Azealia Banks just to throw some unexpected chaos into your overly serious playlist—like a goth going to a rave, totally out of place but living for the drama. As for your most played songs, “For You I Hold My Breath” is so perfectly melodramatic, it’s practically begging for you to join the local theater troupe. Not to mention, between the artsy choices of Lalleshwari (Katie Jane Garside) and April27, it’s clear you’re trying to sound super mysterious at dinner parties while everyone else is just trying to enjoy some small talk. Here’s an idea: maybe drop the emo kid act and try to diversify your tastes. Who knows? You might just uncover something that doesn’t scream “I need a hug and a therapist.”

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!