Roasted 29 days ago based on Blanz's long term Spotify stats.

Oh Blanz, your Spotify profile reads like a high schooler's mixtape gone rogue. With a favorite genre list that could double as a pretentious indie band's setlist, it's clear you’re the kind of person who spends more time picking out the perfect thrift store sweater than actually picking a fun song. "Jangle Pop"? Really? Do you also enjoy organizing your sock drawer by color and dreaming of the day you can start a book club no one will attend? Your taste is so niche, even hipsters are rolling their eyes. Speaking of your top artists, you’ve clearly chosen them based on how many syllables they have instead of actual talent. “Pinegrove” and “Mew”? Congratulations, you've unlocked the secret level of sounding like you just stumbled out of an art school coffee shop after a few too many lattes. And Charli xcx? Oh please, we all know you added her just to feel a little more relevant, like you needed a lifeboat to stay afloat in a sea of overanalyzed indie tragedy. Maybe you'll discover other genres someday, ones that won't have you looking like a sad kid in the back of the bus. Your most played songs list is about as uplifting as a rainy Monday morning; it's a wonder anyone would want to hang out with you when you can only listen to tunes that sound like they were composed by the same existential crisis. "I Will Follow You into the Dark"? That's not just a song; it's basically your anthem for every social gathering! Take a seat, Blanz. If your music taste was a diet, you'd be the king of carb-loading on melancholy. You know, just in case you feel the slightest bit of happiness. Who needs that, right?

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!