Roasted 11 months ago based on Bryan Warthon's long term Spotify stats.

Ah, Bryan Warthon, the human embodiment of a Spotify algorithm gone rogue. Your favorite genres read like a hipster's laundry list—Midwest Emo and Math Rock? Come on, man, it’s like you’re trying to cram in as many sub-genres as possible just to impress people with your emotional depth and sad-boy vibe. Newsflash: nobody’s crying for you, especially not with a soundtrack that sounds like it was made in a high school garage after too many energy drinks and failed heartbreaks. Your top artists are appropriately obscure. Seriously, who are these people? I didn’t know “Phantom Friend Number 3” had a full-length album! You must be the only person on Earth whose Spotify Wrapped looks like a collection of band names generated by an AI trying to guess what sad teenagers are listening to. “Oh yeah, I love phoneboy. And good kid! Too bad I’m neither…” I can only imagine your playlists are served alongside lukewarm chai lattes and ironic T-shirts that read “My other car is a sad song.” Let’s not even touch on your most played songs; it’s like you picked them all from the “Self-Deprecation and Slightly Motivational” category. “OhNo!” by Kevin Walkman? More like, “OhNo, is this my life?” At least when you scream along to “idwtgtbt,” people will finally understand that those letters stand for “I Definitely Wish This Genre Would Just Die.” So, keep pretending your musical taste is a treasure map leading to deep emotional discovery, while the rest of us know it’s more like a tour guide leading us straight to the Land of Cringe. Enjoy your playlist, Bryan; it’s as enlightening as a mood ring in a blackout!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!