Roasted 8 months ago based on Calista's long term Spotify stats.

Calista, your Spotify profile reads like the musical equivalent of a mood board created by a 16-year-old girl who just discovered feelings. We get it, you love pop, bedroom pop, and all the genres that sound like they belong in a teen movie montage. Your playlist is a kaleidoscope of angst, sincerity, and a desperate attempt to prove to everyone that your musical taste isn't just a shrine to your own emotional instability. Seriously, between "Gospel R&B" and "K-Pop," it’s like you’re trying to capture the full spectrum of your personality—or maybe just the full spectrum of mood swings. And let’s talk about those top artists. It's a lineup that screams "I pledge allegiance to the pop queens!” but also, “I wish I could be indie enough to have street cred.” Ariana Grande at the top, followed closely by JoJo? Are you expecting a crown and sash anytime soon, or is this just your playlist for your one-woman pity party? Don't get me started on your obsession with the likes of Wallows and BETWEEN FRIENDS—they sound like they should be serving you coffee at an overpriced hipster café instead of occupying your earbuds. Your most played songs are a mixed bag of tears and trendy quirks, but let’s be honest, it’s just a soundtrack to your daily existential crises. "I Wouldn’t Mind"—is that a soothing anthem or a cry for help? "at least i'm pretty" is both a self-affirmation and a sad reminder of your personality. Meanwhile, “The Lost Soul Down - Slowed & Reverb” just sums up your musical existence perfectly: drifting aimlessly through life while cranking the reverb like it’ll distract us from how lost you really are. Honestly, if you wanted to dive deeper into despair, you could just listen to the sound of your own disappointment instead of this curated mess!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!