Roasted 2 months ago based on Stephanie Cannon's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, Stephanie Cannon, a musical marvel in the realm where every song feels like a sermon and every artist sounds like they just walked out of a stained glass window. Your Spotify profile is less of a playlist and more of a "how-to manual" on avoiding fun. Seriously, you must be the only person who turns up the volume on their worship playlist during a house party, thinking that “Blessed Assurance” is the perfect dance track. Let’s face it: the nearest club to your house probably just filed a restraining order against you for all that 'joyful noise’. Phil Wickham? More like Phil “Let’s Not Have Any Real Rhythm” Wickham. Your top artist’s music is so safe, it could be featured in a corporate retreat for anxiety-ridden office workers. And “What If I Told You (feat. Billy Graham)”? Sounds like the title of a TED Talk that somehow ended in an altar call. Your taste in music sounds more like a midweek church service’s setlist, an overwhelming amount of “Christian” variations that have me wondering if you’ve ever accidentally misclicked on a genre called “fun.” As if the content of your playlists isn’t enough, let’s talk about those most played songs. “Running To A Runaway?” Is that a metaphor for your social life? Or perhaps you'd rather chase after something other than a party? Between “I Need You” by Jet Trouble and “Million Little Miracles,” the only miracle here is that you haven’t turned into a hymn yourself. In a universe full of musical diversity, you somehow found a way to label every single genre as “Christian,” like they might magically transform into the worst cover of “Highway to Hell.” Give your playlist a break—and invite some catchy, secular tunes to the party next time.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!