Roasted 2 years ago based on em 🍓's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, em 🍓, your Spotify profile reads like a hipster's shopping list at a boutique thrift store—absolutely chaotic and yet somehow underwhelming. You’ve got more sub-genres in that list than a pretentious college kid writing a thesis on the cultural impact of ironic mustaches. Seriously, how many different genres can you squeeze out of indie rock? If you get any more niche, you might as well start raving about your newfound love for "Obscure Rock" and "Recluse Dance" because those are the only categories missing from your embarkation on the "I-Only-Listen-to-Bands-You-Probably-Haven't-Heard-Of" train. And those top artists... sweetie, it’s like you curated a playlist for a mid-2000s emo revival but forgot that it’s currently 2023. Bloc Party and Vampire Weekend? Cute. You’re clearly still living in a world where MySpace was the pinnacle of social media. And to top it off, you have Kele showcasing so much presence on your list that I half-expect you to have a poster of him draped above your bed. I can picture it now: “a shrine to 2000s angst and regrets,” complete with candles and a sprinkle of glitter—so avant-garde! As for your most played songs, I can't help but chuckle. "Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss" is the only true banger here, and let’s be honest, it’s more of a guilty pleasure than a deep cut. If you wanted to prove how deep and mysterious you are, you might as well have thrown in some elevator music just for good measure. You’ve curated the auditory equivalent of a Pinterest board that screams “I went on a weekend retreat and found myself… kinda.” Congrats, em 🍓! You’re the walking definition of “I can hear you typing on your keyboard right now!”

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!