Roasted 17 days ago based on hannah j's long term Spotify stats.

Hannah J, your Spotify profile is a musical buffet that only a middle school drama club president could love. Seriously, "Yacht Rock" as a genre? How do you even survive a party with such refined tastes? I can only imagine your playlist blaring sweet melodies while everyone else is jamming to real music. Let’s be real, when a party playlist can double as a "How to Avoid Actual Fun" manual, it’s time to hit the refresh button! Your top artists read like a list of people who should definitely not be performing in a karaoke bar with you. Step it up; there are entire playlists dedicated to drowning out heartbreak—yours could be the next. And let's discuss your fixation on Conan Gray—it's like you've entered a contest for the world's biggest fan and forgot you’re not, in fact, delivering an acceptance speech. With the way you cling to “Family Line” and “People Watching,” it’s clear you’ve turned to musical therapy to work through some serious high school issues. Newsflash, Hannah: The only line you’re listening to is the one between reality and your daydreams with your acoustic guitar in hand. You'd think you were auditioning for a role in a high school musical with such a dedicated catalog of soft ballads and pop anthems. You even manage to throw in "scared of my guitar," as if that complex relationship wasn’t evident already... All jokes aside, you’ve curated a playlist that would turn even the most optimistic of music lovers into a self-loathing introvert. Look, I get it; life is tough and sometimes soft rock is all you can handle. But if your musical taste were a color, it’d be beige—not even the chic designer beige, but that sad, faded version you find in grandma's living room. Maybe branch out a little—why not throw in some heavy metal? After all, you can't keep pretending that your inner emotions can only be expressed over soothing yacht tunes and dreamy pop harmonies. Break free from those musical chains, Hannah! Or at least consider adding a bit of chaos; it might make your Spotify profile interesting for once.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!