Roasted 2 years ago based on H's long term Spotify stats.

Hey H, congrats on curating the sonic equivalent of a warm, lukewarm bath. Your favorite genres read like the bingo card of a middle-aged librarian's listening party. "Mellow Gold"? More like "Mellowed Out." And "Adult Standards"? Please, we get it, your idea of a wild night involves pretending to dance while sipping lukewarm herbal tea. Rock-and-roll and rockabilly? The last time your heart raced was when you discovered discounted Hard Candy at your local grocery store. Your top artists make it abundantly clear that you prefer to live your life with the emotional intensity of a damp sponge. Andrea Bocelli is on repeat to the point where his voice probably haunts your dreams, whispering, “Why don’t you take me to karaoke more often?” And let’s not even get started on how you consider Gotye's "Somebody That I Used To Know" as an emotional power ballad rather than a sad person reflecting on playing the maracas at a kindergarten talent show. You’ve got the angst of a soft pillow—congratulations! And your most-played songs? Clearly, your playlist development strategy was pieced together between sips of chamomile and episodes of "This Is Us." "Careless Whisper"? More like "Careless Listener," because clearly you’ve never casually witnessed a fun night out or heard even a single pulse-pounding song gleaned from, I dunno, *any* decade after the 70s. Try mixing it up a little; life is too short to be serenaded by the high notes of André the Giant of Pop. Get out there and let loose; you might just discover that *indie* isn’t just a mood but an entire universe waiting to be explored—until then, keep your mellow vibes on full blast while the rest of us crush it on the dance floor!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!