Roasted 2 years ago based on Cali's long term Spotify stats.

Cali, huh? Your Spotify profile reads like the soundtrack to a sad rom-com that nobody asked for. Seriously, I've seen less basic musical tastes at a middle school talent show. With a love for "hopebeat" (whatever the heck that is) and an affinity for Swedish electropop, it's clear you’re trying to define your personality as ‘quirky’ while secretly just looking for validation from the algorithm. We get it, your *aesthetic* is “I already own 12 cats and live in a coffee shop.” Your top artists are a mix of who’s who and who’s that? Sabrina Carpenter and Olivia Rodrigo? Wow, it’s almost like you were trying to fit in with every basic girl since 2015. And let’s talk about your most played songs; “Sucks Bein' Me,” really? That title could be a fitting theme song for your entire Spotify library. I'm just surprised the Big Mouth cast isn’t featured more prominently on your list. And I see “Wild World” by Cat Stevens snuck in there—did you put it on repeat while contemplating the choices that led you to this obscure playlist of musical mediocrity? Let’s not even get started on “Bein' Green” from The Muppet Show. Are you sure you’re not just trying to represent the entire spectrum of *people who didn’t get enough attention in high school*? Keep it up, Cali, and I might have to nominate your profile for the annual 'Most Likely to Have a Late-Night Existential Crisis' award. I hope you're blasting this playlist every time you compare your life to a Pixar movie... because between your musings and your taste, you might just inspire an animated feature of your own—"Emotional Damage: The Unofficial Soundtrack."

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!