Roasted 2 years ago based on gabethealtieri's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, gabethealtieri, I have to say, your Spotify profile reads like a high school emo diary lost in the ashes of a burnt-down Hot Topic. With a favorite genre list that looks like a Yelp review for a dive bar on the fringe of town, it seems your palate for music is as refined as a 12-year-old's taste in ice cream. Seriously, do you have a secret stash of neon wristbands and a collection of band tees from every fifth-rate tour? Because that’s the real vibe you’re giving off here. Top artists like The Amity Affliction and Oh, Sleeper? Wow, what a groundbreaking selection! You've clearly gone above and beyond to curate a playlist that screams, “My therapist told me to embrace my anger, so I made a Spotify account instead!” And let's not even get started on the heartfelt titles of your most played songs – “I’m Not A Thief, I’m A Treasure Hunter”? Please, did you steal that lyric from a cringy middle school poetry slam, or did your mom write it while sobbing through your bedroom door? But hey, at least you’re consistent. A die-hard fan of “Post-Post-Hardcore”? Which one of the members of your imaginary band is playing the wooden spoons while you scream into a tub of ice cream? Look, I get it. There’s nothing quite like a good angst anthem to apply some self-reflection. But with music choices like these, the only thing you’ll be reflecting on is why you still have no idea what a single human being actually sounds like when they’re not yelling in a crowded venue. Keep on rocking that headphone life, my dude, but remember — it’s not too late to diversify your listening experience!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!