Roasted 3 months ago based on Prokofiev5's long term Spotify stats.

Prokofiev5, huh? With a Spotify profile as lopsided as a three-legged table, your taste in music screams "I want to be deep and mysterious but I'm terrified of actual depth." Who knew that an entire genre could be created for people who enjoy sipping artisanal lattes while pondering their existence in a hipster coffee shop? "Latin Indie" and "Art Pop” sound great, but honestly, your playlist could use a reality check. It’s like you curated a selection specifically designed to make everyone else feel like they should be reading Kafka by candlelight while wearing a beret. Your top artists read like a list of "Who?" with Maria Nastenka leading the pack. I mean, if you play her songs any more, she’ll probably start charging you rent. You must have a special relationship with her music. I can only imagine you cry silently into your organic quinoa bowl while listening to "Me da curiosidad." Your taste is so esoteric, it could double as a personality test—guess you failed that one, champ. And don’t get me started on your most played songs list; it looks like a therapy session playlist for people afraid of vocal modulation. And then there’s your classical taste, which feels more like a desperate attempt to sound sophisticated than an actual love for music. I can see it now: you in a turtleneck, furiously Googling 'Krautrock' right before dinner parties. It’s like you want to impress people with your “cultured” side but end up sounding like you just listened to a college lecture on hipster subcultures instead. So, congrats! You’ve managed to achieve the musical equivalent of verbal euphoria while still not knowing what to do with your hair. Keep it up; the world needs more sincerity wrapped in pretentiousness!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!