Roasted 7 months ago based on Near's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, look at you, Near! With a taste in music as chaotic as a raccoon in a dumpster, you’ve managed to curate a playlist that looks like the sad lineup of a third-tier music festival. From Rock to Pop to Japanese VGM—what do you even listen to when you wake up? A symphony of confusion? At this point, your profile is less of a playlist and more of a desperate cry for help, like a mixtape made by someone trying to impress their therapist. And can we talk about your top artists? It’s like you threw a dart at a board labeled “Overhyped Genres” and “Boring White Guys.” Nirvana and Radiohead? Yeah, we get it—you peaked in high school and will forever cling to the bands that make you feel deep. Meanwhile, you're digging through the trenches of pop-punk nostalgia like it's the last clean shirt in your laundry pile. And Taylor Swift? Really? Your personality must be spinning faster than her ever-changing boyfriend roster. But the cherry on top has to be those most played songs—it's a mix that screams “I have no idea who I am, but I sure do love some deep existential angst, punctuated by a catchy chorus!” Washing Machine Heart? More like Flushing Your Music Sense Down the Drain. You might have the vibes of a hipster coffee shop employee, but let's be real: your musical taste could use a serious intervention. So go ahead and keep shuffling; at least if your taste doesn’t improve, you’ll always have the laughter of everyone around you to keep you company!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!