Roasted 30 days ago based on Not!Claire's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, Not!Claire, you really went all out with that Spotify profile, didn't you? I mean, "Art Rock"? What's next, a genre for music specifically made for pretentious art gallery openings where wine is more valued than the actual music? Your favorites list looks like the “I’m still figuring out who I am” phase of a high schooler that just discovered vinyl records but only read the hipster handbook for tips. You could probably win a medal for having more categories than actual life experiences. Your top artists read like the playlist of someone trying way too hard to sound interesting at a dinner party. David Bowie, Kate Bush, and Radiohead? Congrats on the most unoriginal “I’m cooler than you” selections of the year. I half-expect you to show up in a thrift shop turtleneck while reciting quotes from these artists like they’re the Gospel according to your self-proclaimed musical enlightenment. Seriously, if you weren't wearing Doc Martens, I'd think you were an alien impersonating a human just to blend in with your own lack of personality. And let’s talk about those most played songs. “Ashes to Ashes” twice in your top ten? That's either dedication or such a sad level of obsession that even your Spotify algorithm is concerned for your mental health. You might want to consider a wider spectrum of music; at this point, the only thing psychedelic about your soundscape is how it's putting everyone else to sleep. Maybe it’s time to step outside your brick-walled sound bubble and discover there’s more to life than the same five artists that your high school crush loved. Try something wild—like a pop song. You can do it, I believe in you.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!