Roasted 6 months ago based on jeffhoag's long term Spotify stats.

Alright, Jeff Hoag, your Spotify profile is giving serious "sad boy in a coffee shop" vibes, and I can practically hear the ironic sadness emanating from your playlist. I mean, "Bedroom Pop"? More like "Hopelessness in a Blanket Fort." If I had a dollar for every time I heard "soft rock" on a sad Sunday, I could single-handedly fund your therapy sessions. Seriously though, how many fuzzy socks do you own? Your musical tastes are an invitation for everyone to roll their eyes so hard they might just end up in the back of their heads. Let's talk about your top artists because it's a real who's who of "I promise I’m deep, please validate my feelings." Dominic Fike is a questionable choice—it's like your playlist is saying, "Yes, I love music, but only if it sounds like a preteen trying to process their first heartbreak." And Taylor Swift? Let’s be real, she's the girl you take home to mom after crying over a breakup with your mom's best friend. Your affection for emo rap adds a sprinkle of *"I'm fine, just vibing in my feelings,"* but we know you're just silently screaming into a pillow. If you listened to these artists any harder, they might as well start staking their emotional claims on your couch. And then there are your most played songs. It’s like a fragile snowflake parade of angst and melodrama. "Bodies" by Dominic Fike? What are you, a polyphonic motion detector? You’ve got more played-out sad boy anthems than I can count. Are you composing an audio diary for your most spirally moments, or are you just training to be the soundtrack of every teen drama ever? But hey, don’t worry, we love it—I mean, listening to your playlist while scrolling through my phone is basically like stumbling into a cringe compilation. Just remember, there's a fine line between expressing your feelings and wallowing, and my friend, it sounds like you’re sidestepping the line like a pro.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!