Roasted 6 months ago based on Colton's long term Spotify stats.

Colton, with a Spotify profile that screams “I’m trying to impress my mom while simultaneously committing to a midlife crisis,” your taste in music is like a buffet where every dish is bland and your playlist could only be improved by a surprise visit from a local karaoke bar. You’ve got country twang galore, as if you’re preparing for a one-horse town talent show. “Acoustic Country”? Really? Did you think it was an Olympic event? It’s a wonder your earbuds haven’t thrown themselves out in protest yet. Your top artists read like the lineup for a state fair that’s run out of ideas and appeal. If I had a dollar for every time I heard Maroon 5 followed by some soft country whine, I’d be rich enough to pay someone to introduce you to a genre that doesn't feature songs about trucks or raising barns. I mean, “Pitbull” and “Ava Max”? Are you trying to score a date in the petting zoo or just appealing to every demographic that doesn’t know what they want? Let me guess, your idea of a party is putting “Dance Monkey” on repeat while everyone awkwardly sways in a circle? And those most played tracks? It’s like you walked into a Spotify time capsule set to "Platinum Blonde Weekend Vibes" and forgot to leave. "Hotel Key"? Really? I hope the only keys you have are the ones to your mom’s basement, because if this is what you call the soundtrack to your life, God help your friends who are forced to endure this auditory train wreck. “Sunshine” by Matisyahu? Wow, how did you find something positive while living in a 2005 nostalgic daydream? Keep this up and you’ll be known as the DJ who plays “Dad Jokes: The Musical.”

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!