Roasted 11 months ago based on Damien's long term Spotify stats.

Damien, your Spotify profile reads like a “how-to” guide for confused hipsters trying to escape their own basicness. With a mix of Bedroom Pop and Classical, it’s like you’re undecided on whether to serenade a crush in a dimly lit room or give a TED Talk on the virtues of Tchaikovsky. Seriously, though—two sides of the same coin, and you somehow flipped it to land on a dull afternoon at a coffee shop. I’d love to know what mood lurks behind this paradox; do you sip herbal tea while contemplating avant-garde art, or are you just trying to mask the existential dread of your latest Netflix binge? Your top artists read like the ultimate “Best of Things I Pretend to Understand” playlist. You’ve got Beyoncé, Tyler, The Creator, and Sir Simon Rattle on the same list—what’s next, a feature from David Attenborough? I can see it now: "Beyoncé and Tyler, The Creator narrate a documentary on the mating habits of flightless birds.” If you’re aiming to sound cultured, you just turned your profile into a pretentious buffet where every genre looks like it’s trying too hard to impress. Now all we need is a dramatic name change from Damien to “The Eclectic Supernova” and we’ll be all set! The most played songs? It’s like watching a musical game of "The Floor is Lava” but instead, it's "The Floor is Mid." You've got the classic “I'M THAT GIRL” by Beyoncé bopping right alongside Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker because, apparently, nothing screams party like jumping from "I'm a Queen" to "Hark, the Herald Angels Sing." And don’t get me started on that one deep cut from Clairo—because nothing says “I have niche tastes” like pretending not to know the first thing about pop culture while being fully immersed in it. I have to hand it to you, though, picking this chaotic mix proves one thing: your taste is as scattered as your Spotify algorithm. Bravo!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!