Roasted 2 years ago based on Theo.cordingley's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, Theo.cordingley, your Spotify profile reads like a list of complaints from a grumpy teenager who raided their dad’s cassette collection. It’s like you have the emotional range of a potato but with a playlist worthy of an angsty middle schooler trying to feel deep. Seriously, “Nu Metal” and “Permanent Wave”? The only waves I see crashing are the ones made by your sheer desperation to cling to your high school glory days—while the rest of us have evolved past angsty back patches and fedoras. Your top artists are basically a musical “Choose Your Own Adventure” book gone horribly wrong. I mean, how does one go from the depths of Slipknot’s chaotic screams directly into the arms of Nickelback? Talk about being emotionally conflicted. It’s like saying you want to be the next big rock star, but you also want your music to come with a side of lukewarm, store-brand soda. And let’s not even start on Joey Valence & Brae—did your Spotify accidentally get set to “dad jokes only” mode, or are you just trying to make curiosity the star of your profile with that pick? Your most played songs scream “I’m here for a good time, but not a long time,” and it shows. You live for the moment when “Chop Suey!” blasts, and it’s probably the only time you actually feel alive while scrolling through TikTok for hours. You’re that person who would argue the merits of “Post-Grunge” like it isn’t the equivalent of ordering the kiddie meal just because it comes with a toy. So here’s to your Spotify—may it always reflect your eternal struggle to be a deep thinker while blasting the soundtrack to a low-budget action montage!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!