Roasted 7 months ago based on Ethan's long term Spotify stats.

Ethan, your Spotify profile reads like a midlife crisis playlist crafted by a slightly confused uncle who still thinks wearing leather pants is a good idea. Seriously, what kind of emotional rollercoaster are you running here? One moment you're headbanging to Guns N' Roses, and the next you're grooving to Calvin Harris like you just emerged from a time capsule from 2008. If your musical identity were a high school personality, it would be that kid who tried to fit in with the goths, the jocks, and the band geeks all at once, but ended up just being really weird. Your top artists could practically form a band of overhyped nostalgia. I mean, "The Beatles" and "Glam Metal" in the same breath? It's like claiming you're an expert in both classic literature and memes about cats. You can’t have the spiritual depth of Lennon and McCartney while jamming to “I Want to Sex You Up." And yet, here you are, proudly announcing your love for musical mash-ups that no one asked for. Honestly, the only thing louder than your rock star aspirations is the sound of disappointment echoing in the hearts of true music fans everywhere. And let’s talk about your most played songs. You’ve got “Let It Be” right next to “One Last Breath” by Creed—it's a deep, existential crisis waiting to happen. Not to mention the LARGE presence of Red Hot Chili Peppers. Ever considered branching out? Or do you just want to experience every possible version of “Californication” until you feel like you’ve completed the circle of life? It’s the musical equivalent of being stuck in an elevator with no escape and asking for just one more Justin Bieber track instead. Ethan, take a hint: if your playlist were a food, it’d be a casserole made of leftovers that no one wanted in the first place.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!