Roasted 2 years ago based on dylan.zane's long term Spotify stats.

So let me get this straight, Dylan Zane. Your Spotify profile reads like a hipster's grocery list. "POV: Indie"? Is that your way of saying, "I enjoy pretending to be deep while listening to sad acoustic songs as I sip overpriced almond milk lattes"? With a music taste that boasts every flavor of the term ‘indie’ like a wannabe connoisseur of emotional destruction, it’s safe to say your vibe is about as original as a winter season in a global warming disaster. Your top artists read like a list from a suburban mom trying to prove she's still relevant to her teenage kids. Look, I know Hozier sounds nice while you're contemplating the meaning of life and life choices over a candlelit bath, but honestly, my dude, “Kendrick Lamar” and “Taylor Swift” sandwiching your playlist like they’re trying to hold it together should come with a warning: “Caution: Fragile emotional tendencies ahead.” It's almost impressive how you somehow managed to collect a blend of artists that screams “I’m depressed but also want to dance at a picnic.” And let’s talk about that Most Played Songs list—Noah Kahan’s name appears more than my ex on social media after a breakup, and it’s painfully obvious why. It’s like you’ve set up a “sad boy” playlist that doubles as a soundtrack for every awkward moment you've had in life. Do you listen to these tracks on repeat during your midnight snack sessions to reflect on your life choices, or are you just preparing for your next deep conversation with a plant? Because with all this tortured folk and indie, I can only imagine your worst nightmare involves U2 somehow playing at your therapy sessions. Get it together, Dylan.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!