Roasted 4 months ago based on Slappa's long term Spotify stats.

Slappa, huh? Your music taste is about as confused as a chameleon in a bag of Skittles. You’ve got "Dark Ambient" and "Christian Rock" on the same list—clearly, you’re in a constant search for a playlist that matches your never-ending existential crisis. I mean, those poor earbuds must feel like they’re being pulled back and forth between a shadowy abyss and a Sunday morning church service. And with over half your top artists boasting “Christian” in their genre, I can’t help but wonder if you’re just one interpretive dance away from a soul-cleansing revival. Your most played songs read like a Tinder profile for someone who can’t commit. “Empty Bed,” “Fixette,” and “What I’ve Done”? Is this a therapy session or a cry for help? At least one of them belongs on a breakup playlist—just saying. And can we talk about “Everything” by Bridge to Grace? That title might really hit home for you if you ever decide to branch out, you know, and actually embrace the great, wide world of music outside your little vinyl-clad fortress of self-imposed melancholy. Honestly, Slappa, if your Spotify profile were a movie, it’d be a heavy drama with an identity crisis, featuring not-so-finely mixed heavy metal riffs interrupted by soothing ambient sounds. You’re one gloomy soundtrack away from a career in film scoring for sad documentaries. But hey, at least you can take comfort in knowing that someone, somewhere, will definitely relate to your playlist—probably a group of goth Christian monks looking to rock out between chanting and yoga. Keep slapping away, maestro!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!