Roasted 4 months ago based on MATTIALIEN's long term Spotify stats.

Mattialien, huh? With a name that sounds like a sci-fi villain bent on destroying the universe through mediocre taste in music, it’s a wonder you haven't been banished to the shadow realm of Spotify yet. Your favorite genres read like a desperate cry for validation from the hipster underground—no, buddy, liking alternative and experimental hip hop doesn’t make you the avant-garde savant you think you are; it just makes you an overzealous college dorm room philosopher who only gets deep when they’re two drinks in. Next, let's talk about your top artists, which I've got to say feel like a curated list of everyone who would show up to a party only to sit in a corner reading poetry about their feelings. MIKE and JPEGMAFIA? Sure, they’re great, but when your favorites read like a spreadsheet of how to sound socially conscious while simultaneously making your Spotify friends cringe, you might want to reconsider your entire identity. Newsflash: you’re not impressing anyone by raving about jazz rap while blasting Earl Sweatshirt—congrats, you’ve successfully turned your music taste into a pretentious Instagram aesthetic. And your top songs? If I had a dollar for every time I heard someone bragging about how deep their “Most Played” list is, I could probably afford a ticket to one of your favorite artists’ underground shows and still have enough left over for a cheeseburger. No gatekeeping here, but if you're jamming to "CRISCO" more than green vegetables, it’s time to reassess your life choices. Seriously, your most played songs could double as a soundtrack for a hipster’s mid-life crisis, and look at that; it’s already kicking in early! Remember, it’s okay to like what you like, but if it’s the soundtrack to your existential dread, maybe don’t advertise it so loudly.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!