Roasted 6 months ago based on Kaiden's long term Spotify stats.

Kaiden, your Spotify profile reads like a teenager's diary after a breakup. Seriously, if we had a dollar for every time Coldplay made you cry, we could probably pay for the therapy you clearly need. It’s like they’re your emotional support band, and honestly, it's kind of alarming. I half-expect your playlist to be titled, "Songs to Gaze Out a Rainy Window By," with that level of angst. But I guess when you're jamming out to “Yellow” for the fiftieth time, you really have to commit to your sad boy aesthetic. I get it, you like "bedroom pop." But it’s starting to feel less like a genre and more like a creative way to label your sad nap times. And let’s be real: your fascination with the same five themes---melancholy, more melancholy, love lost, heartbreak, and a mild case of existential dread—might just be more repetitive than your playlist of Coldplay tracks. Once you venture out of your comfort zone to something that doesn’t involve “fixing” your emotions, I promise there’s a whole musical world that won’t make you reach for the tissues every five minutes. And K-Pop, really? You like it so much, yet your top artist list reads like a history of mainstream white bands you've been too shy to admit you’ve loved since middle school. It's a puzzling mashup, like ordering a sushi roll with a side of ranch dressing. If you want to change things up, pick something a little more adventurous and fun—unless you want that “sad floating in the abyss” vibe on repeat. Time to hit shuffle on the other genres, Kaiden, because I’d hate to see you miss out on life while you keep vibing with “Fix You” for the next decade.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!