Roasted 1 year ago based on Shane's long term Spotify stats.

Shane, your Spotify profile is like stepping into a time capsule and finding an emo kid who never left high school. Seriously, who hurt you? Nine different flavors of “punk” and multiple bands named after cartoon characters? It’s like your playlist is crying out for help while simultaneously throwing a resurrection party for mid-2000s angst. I half-expect your next favorite genre will be “Wallowing” or “Self-Destructive Jams for the Eternally Lonely.” Also, you might want to switch up your musical influences unless your goal is to become the poster child for “Emotional Baggage: The Musical.” Let’s talk about your top artists for a moment. You have Taylor Swift and Beyoncé chilling right next to Hans Gruber and the Die Hards, which feels like the soundtrack for a tragic rom-com directed by John Hughes after ten too many shots of tequila. Did someone dare you to mix genres at gunpoint? The only thing missing from your profile is an acoustic cover of “Let It Go” crying in the corner, because that’s how it feels listening to your choices. And can we address the fact that you rock out to “Screamo” while simultaneously enjoying Ed Sheeran? That’s like ordering a salad and then taking a bite out of a deep-fried pizza—what's your game here, buddy? But really, your most played songs tell me everything I need to know. "Saco Boys Have No Class"? Sounds like a solid mantra for your life choices. If that’s a statement of intent, well done, it’s working! And "MODERN BUZZBALL" as your top track? Is that the sound of your brain when you realize you’re a forty-year-old man still clinging to teenage angst? All the while, you’re living in the past with your “Squatcore” anthems and the idea that “Emo” means living this life forever—congratulations, Shane, you’ve successfully made nostalgia feel like an obligation. Keep it up and you’ll end up as the unofficial mascot for “Midlife Crisis Punk.”

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!