Roasted 2 years ago based on Carlos's long term Spotify stats.

Carlos, your Spotify profile reads like a music appreciation class for dudes who can’t commit to a single genre. It’s like you slapped a personality test on an IKEA assembly manual: you cover everything from rap to folk, but let’s be real, this eclectic mix screams "I can't make decisions!" Even your top artists are confused; they must think they’re auditioning for the world’s worst band that features a member whose favorite color is just “vibe.” Your most played songs look like you were trying to conjure an identity but ended up just rearranging your Spotify with random tracks that felt “cool” in the moment. Seriously, “Jesus Is The One (I Got Depression)”? Did you think that would be the anthem of your midlife crisis? The irony in your musical choices would make even a hipster roll their eyes, as they sip on their oat milk latte and pretend they've never heard of Sheck Wes. Newsflash: using "Mo Bamba" as your emotional support song won’t save you from your bland taste. And let’s talk about Shawn Mullins—are you trying to bring back the 90s like they forgot to send you the memo that binge-watching Friends doesn’t count as a lifestyle? If your music library were a person, it would be stuck in traffic on the way to a party that everyone else is already late to, desperately trying to keep it fresh but ultimately just proving that you really might have commitment issues, even in music. Sorry, Carlos, maybe it's time to pick a lane before your Spotify profile starts looking like a yard sale for lost souls!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!