Roasted 2 months ago based on Hans's long term Spotify stats.

Oh Hans, your Spotify profile looks like a nostalgic mixtape lovingly curated by someone who just discovered the 'Rock' section at a thrift store. Seriously, your top genres scream “I peaked in high school” louder than a vengeful Led Zeppelin fan discovering modern pop music. Eight different shades of rock? Are you trying to go for a music identity or just collecting excuses for why you can't dance? And honestly, throw in a few more alternative rock choices, and you might just redefine mediocrity itself. Let's talk about your top artists. Mitski followed by two classic rock legends? You’re basically a living embodiment of the phrase “I listen to everything, except anything that’s actually relevant.” Your playlist reads like the soundtrack to a midlife crisis where you’re somehow both the dad trying to relate to his teenage daughter and the edgy friend offering up mixtapes that nobody asked for. Don’t get me wrong; I admire your commitment to avoiding current trends like they’re the plague, but let’s be real—when “Proto-Punk” is in your top five, you're not exploring the past; you're stuck there. And those most played songs—what a delightful mishmash of half-hearted rebellion and angsty longing. I can almost hear you dramatically sighing to "Anyone Else but You" while sipping herbal tea in a café, writing poetry no one will ever read. But hey, props for including Etta James between a bunch of hipster anthems; it’s like you’re trying to convince us you have depth while still being trapped in an ironic bubble of your own making. It’s not so much “We’ve Gotta Get out of This Place” as “I’m too scared to ever leave it.” Keep rocking that identity crisis, Hans—just make sure you’re wearing your best flannel while you do!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!