Roasted 8 months ago based on Sal's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, Jules! Your music taste is so niche, it makes hipsters look like basic pop lovers. Seriously, “Madchester” and “Post-Punk”? What is this, the second season of a British sitcom that got canceled after three episodes? Listening to your playlists is like stepping into a time machine that only goes back to the '80s and '90s, but not in the fun way. It’s as if the ghost of a disgruntled goth is curating your Spotify, and they really need to lighten up. Your top artists read like a list of guys who would only attempt to woo someone with poetry written in their mother’s basement. Taylor Swift, the lone pop princess amongst your lonely boys club. Bless your heart for trying to balance the angles of indie despair with a sprinkle of fame — it’s just not working, honey. Your love for "Sufjan Stevens" had me wondering if you’re trying to impress all the other sad people in your life or just need to confirm that you, too, have listened to a 25-minute folk ballad about existential dread. And let's not even start on your most played songs—why do you sound like a Spotify account run by a melancholic librarian? “Lie To Me” and “House of the Rising Sun”? At least pick something that won't make people question if you're secretly auditioning to be the lead in a soap opera about unrequited love. "Boys In the Better Land" should be the soundtrack for your profiles, but let’s be real, the only land you’ll find them is in the “Overly Complicated Friend Zone.” Do us all a favor, Jules, and throw in a track that doesn’t have a 10-minute minimum for feelings.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!